Marriage Officiant

What does the term marriage or wedding officiant mean? Basically, a marriage officiant is the person who has the legal authority to officially wed a couple. Before the Covid-19 outbreak started, couples in New York City could go in person to the Marriage Bureau that is administered through the City Clerk’s Office, to obtain a marriage license, register a domestic partnership, or have a civil marriage ceremony. At such ceremonies, no special readings would be done and couples would not even be given opportunities to exchange vows. 

The whole service was an impersonal one - and, as all civil ceremonies in New York have always been done on a walk-in basis, a couple would not even know in advance who their NYC marriage officiant would be. 

What is more, while most other city offices have reopened since the lockdown ended, the Marriage Bureau, still remains closed until further notice for in-person services. At this time, couples can be issued marriage licenses online through the bureau, but the license is not an actual certificate. The license, rather, is just a permit to get married and includes a time constraint on it, which states when an actual legal wedding must take place by.

To actually be married, a couple technically needs a marriage certificate, which is something you can only get with a participation of a state licensed wedding officiant.

Wedding Officiants in NYC

Basically, to be a legal officiant, a person has to be registered with the state as one. In general, the following people are eligible to register in New York as officiants: clergy of any religion; leaders of The Society of Ethical Culture; the mayor or former mayors; judges and justices and a few types of county clerks. 

Given that people who are registered as officiants can come from a wide range of backgrounds, you will likely want to find one for your ceremony who can provide the right kinds of personalized services you want. You, therefore, will likely want to take into consideration, when choosing a legal officiant, such things as: that person’s particular religious denomination; what languages that person might be fluent in; or, even what kinds of traditions or ritual practices that person might know how to include in a ceremony.

There are also some people who don’t have legal licenses but who can still preside over ceremonies for you. Such individuals can perform ceremonies or services for you that might actually be quite meaningful; however, such non-registered “officiants” will not be able to officially marry you.

Thus, if it is important for you that you get your marriage certificate at your ceremony, please make sure to check if the officiant you are using is licensed in the state that you’re planning to have your ceremony in—otherwise, you will not be able to obtain a valid marriage certificate. 

When looking for a good officiant, you may also want to ask in advance for some photo or video examples of ceremonies that they presided over in the past so you will have an idea of what to expect. There is also usually a cost associated with booking a wedding officiant and that cost usually reflects that person’s experience, flexibility and knowledge. 

Your Perfect Elopement Officiant

Given that your wedding ceremony will likely be a “once-in-a-lifetime moment”, when it comes to booking a marriage officiant, you want to make sure you won’t regret your choice. In fact, the way your officiant presides over your event will actually have a big effect on just how your whole event gets played out. 

You may not think about it at first, but besides the personalized script that a good officiant can provide, it’s quite important, too, how your officiant looks. Why? Because your officiant will be the face of your ceremony and the way that he/she presents him/herself will reflect on the overall feeling and spirit you want your ceremony to have. Just think, for instance, if your officiant comes to your ceremony shabbily dressed or gives readings you don’t like, will that make you feel good about your event? 

Or, will that just make you feel estranged from the moment?

Thus, if you are planning to use a particular theme for your wedding, you may want to tell your officiant about it - as your officiant may then want to find readings that will address that specific theme or may even want to dress in a special way to help showcase that theme for you. (For example, if you are using a color scheme for your wedding, you may want to tell your officiant about that - as he/she might then want to come dressed in the colors you are using. Same perhaps if you are thinking of using a movie theme or something similar - though, in general, we’ve found that it’s better for the wedding officiants in NYC we use to stick to more standard dress-codes with no outstanding details.)

Now, what about how your officiant speaks? Would you prefer an officiant who can speak in an expressive and bold manner, like a statesman or an actor on a stage, so that everyone in a venue can hear, or, would you prefer having someone preside over your ceremony who can speak in a more gentle and personal manner that would make the feeling of the event more intimate in style? 

Just remember, it is the officiant who creates the overall vibe of the event, so you want to be sure the officiant you select will be able to affect the feeling for the event you most want.

Wedding Ceremony Script

One of the most important responsibilities of a good wedding officiant is to be able to prepare and deliver a script that best fits the occasion. At, Perfect Wedding NYC, all our packages will typically include a civil ceremony, but the way we deliver our civil ceremonies will differ widely from what you would have if you just went to a clerk’s office to be wed.

In a standard ceremony with us, for instance, an officiant will give an introduction, read a few readings about the importance of partnership, allow time so that a couple can share their vows and do a ring exchange, and then give an official pronouncement. 

Based on our experience, the most touching moments of a ceremony usually come when a personalization is given and the couples share their vows. Now, let’s consider both these things a bit more.

Personalization of The Script

Civil wedding officiants in NYC usually try to say something personal about a couple when they deliver their wedding ceremony scripts. While not all the couples use this option for personalization, we always recommend it to our clients, as it can make them feel more involved in the planning process.

And, what does this personalization usually include? Well, it varies but some couples write down their stories beforehand or share with us some distinguishing facts about themselves in advance such as: where they might have met; how long they may have dated; values that they both share; or, what some favorite things they like to do or places they like to visit together are.

Based on the details a couple provides, an officiant can then compose a short text to share at the ceremony that will recall the couple’s path together. We suggest couples provide some fun facts as well, as guests always loving hearing those!

Additionally, we always say that personalization is especially valuable when the couple has guests present, whether in person or online; or, in the case that a ceremony is going to be filmed for viewing later. 

Personal Vows

Some couples get confused when it comes to the writing of personal vows. Some couples decide they don’t want to include them because they want their ceremonies to be simple. Others sometimes say they don’t feel “romantic enough” to write them; and, still a few more tend to feel shy about sharing personal feelings in front of other people. 

But, even though they are not mandatory, we still like the couples we work with to consider using them. However, if you’re one of those bride or bride grooms to be, who really loves the idea of writing vows, but is perhaps unsure how to begin writing them, you may then want to ask your wedding officiant to help you. 

Below we also have some short questions listed to help get you started thinking about your vows:

• What is one fun fact about your relationship?

• What is something cute/unusual your partner does that only you know about?

• Can you tell us something good about your partner that makes you appreciate him/her more?

Another way to brainstorm what to say might be to think how you might complete the following phrase: “I promise to... “ Some possible ways for finishing a phrase like that could be: I promise to… cook a fancy dinner twice a week... to make you tea every hour when you feel sick... to give you a compliment and say “I love you” every day... to walk the dog when it rains... to visit fifty countries with you... to raise your kids like they are my own… 

Remember: vows can be fun and lighthearted or they can be serious and weighty, it’s up to you how you want to write them! And, actually we think it’s very sweet when couples say a mix of both! - especially, as the more lighthearted ones can help break up the seriousness of what is, otherwise, a momentous life event. 

Nowadays, too, many couples use phones to read their vows. But writing them down in a notepad or even on a piece of paper that you can save can sometimes be a more valuable way to include them - as you can then have this paper with you to look at on a future date. Some couples we know even choose to frame the papers they write their vows on so they can always be reminded of them.

Additionally, no matter what style you use for your vows or how long or short you make them, we highly recommend you find a way to include them in your ceremony - as we always believe they make an event much more personal that way.

Wedding Officiant Cost

Now, what is the actual cost of booking an officiant? Well, unfortunately, that is not a question that is easy to answer as it depends a lot on what a couple’s expectations might be. As mentioned above, pricing is typically based on his experience as well as what credentials or affiliations he/she might possess. 

An important factor, too, relating to cost can be connected to what type of rating or online reviews he may have, as many will list their services on the internet. For example, the more positive reviews or better feedback he may have, the higher that person’s prices might be. 

Many wedding officiants in New York City are also flexible in their approaches to how they orchestrate ceremonies and are willing to provide diverse services. Given, too, how multi-cultural the city is, there is also a high demand for those officiants who may be knowledgeable in different traditions or fluent in more than one language—and, those officiants who are able to offer a more diverse range of services often cost more.

While searching for an officiant to use online may feel like a daunting task, it’s important to keep in mind a few things. First, it is good to remember that services that might be appropriate to include at one event may not necessarily be appropriate to include at the event you are planning to have. (For example, if a certain officiant is used to presiding over ceremonies that might include religious traditions and you don’t happen to be of the same faith or denomination of people that typically practice those traditions, then he might not be the right one for you.) For this reason, it’s always good to look for an officiant who may have experience orchestrating the type or kind of ceremony YOU see yourself having. 

It is further good to be aware that the average price for booking services from an officiant in Manhattan is about three hundred dollars. Alternatively, if you’re thinking of booking an officiant using a wedding planning agency, consider that most of them will charge additional fees for providing such a third party service. 

But don’t worry, if you’re on a budget - as we know from experience that you don’t need to pay a lot to get good service from an officiant - and, at Perfect Wedding NYC, we aim to provide some of the most competitive prices around for legal officiant services.